Heck, what's more chaotic than being in love? One of the perks of being in a relationship is being able to discuss subjects you avoided during the early stages of dating. Among the scores of substantive topics people discuss, we've come up with 10 that we believe couples should relish during heart-to-hearts: How To Ace The "What Are We?" Talk. Believe me, if you can't do this with your partner, you are heading for the rocks...
1. Embarrassing moments. If you can't share that awkward moment you are so much ashamed of with your partner, who can you tell them to? Don't be afraid to broach the subject, if you
haven't already. We wouldn't be surprised if his are more horrifying
than yours.
2. Political viewpoints. How do you feel about the freshly-approved healthcare bill?
You don't have to agree with each other, although it would certainly
help. A good relationship allows both parties to discuss their own
philosophies without taking the opposition personally.
3. Fears and insecurities. By fears, we don't mean your
phobia of earthworms. We're talking about things that make you wake up
with gray hairs. What worries you? What do you want to improve in
yourself? What are your past skeletons? In being vulnerable, you risk
judgement, but more importantly, you chance being understood. Continue...
4. Childhood. Ask your partner what he or she was like
as a kid. Did he make friends easily? What kind of games did he like to
play? Did he have trouble in school? Childhood memories make for fun
conversations, but they can also lend insight into how your guy became
the person he is today.
5. Past relationships. This is a touchy one because
no one wants to hear the person they're with spouting sonnets about an
ex. There is, of course, a difference between longing for (or being
bitter over) the past and simply acknowledging what happened. With
enough practice, seasoned, happy couples learn how to address why past relationships ended without inadvertently comparing their current partner to an old flame.
6. Family life. Knowing a person's upbringing and
relationship with his or her parents is paramount to understanding his
current attitude toward family. If you're even slightly contemplating a
future with this person, it might help to ask how well he gets along
with his parents. Why does he resent his mother? Why is he closer to his
sisters than to his brothers? How well can he handle family
gatherings?
7. Current events. Thanks to the overflow of
information, it's nearly impossible to stay up-to-date on everything
going on around us. Here's where teamwork comes into play: Ask your
partner about his interests, be they economics or regional politics, and
see if you can't learn a thing or two. Who knows, maybe you'll help him
develop an interest in international affairs or science news.
9. TV and movies. Compared to politics and personal
fears, entertainment might seem pretty shallow, but Dr. Mehl actually
classified discussions about movies in the "deep" category, given that
people focused on character motivations and plots rather than on, say,
the hot leading actors.
10. The future. Need we ask what's scarier than the
future? While we're not saying you should pressure your partner into
talking about his plans for marriage
and children, we do believe that whether he openly talks about them or
you ask directly, you should know his dreams, goals, and aspirations.
What is he working toward? What drives him to succeed? Where does he see
himself in five years? Someone who desires growth and is not afraid of
the unknown is surely dynamic enough to deserve you.
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